While travelling solo in Laos I met up with two Irish guys, an English lad and a German girl who were halfway through a motorbike trip across Vietnam and had just come to Laos to renew visas. I jumped at the opportunity to join them and a few days later we were all on a sleeper bus from Vientiane to Danang in Vietnam. One of the Irish guys offered us all Xanax to sleep through the bus journey and I enthusiatically took one immediately, meaning I slept straight through the lunch stop a few hours later. However at least I was awake when we arrived at the Vietnam border, which is more than I can say for the others. Needless to say the process of getting visas was rather slow and hilarious.
The remainder of our sleeper bus trip was fairly uneventful, except for when one of the group woke and asked how long until the border – completely unaware he had gone through the whole visa process and we had been in Vietnam a few hours already. That was funny. We briefly stopped for lunch but only had beers as we were short on local currency, and then fairly soon after arrived in Da Nang.
After unloading the bikes we set about putting them back together. I stupidly wandered off to go piss against a far off wall of the bus parking lot and stood on a rusty nail that went through my flip-flop and quite deep into my foot. I think only the bone stopped it going right through. I tried desperately to remember if I’d had a tetanus shot or not while I hobbled back to the group, blood leaking all over my flip-flop. Sammy very kindly helped me to clean it and wrap it and I think we managed to disinfect it well enough.
Once the bikes were assembled I jumped on the back with Enda and I experienced for the first time the insanity of traffic in Vietnam! There don’t seem to be any rules, other than you must constantly hoot for no apparent reason. Everyone just drives wherever they want, no yielding or indicating – every man for himself! How there aren’t more accidents I’ll never know. We drove off towards the river and the famous Dragon Bridge, where we stopped for some lunch at a crazy restaurant with tiny stools and really good fried octopus. My friend told me about a hostel called Barney’s down the road so we headed there to see if they had room, but they only had 3 beds left so we ended up in a hotel a few doors down that had a 6 sleeper room with three double beds for only £2 each. I guess I’d have to share a bed with one of the guys though, haha. It had a great view from the balcony of the river and the many beautiful bridges and buildings. I had no idea Da Nang was such a nice, modern city.
We went out that evening to SkyBar 36, an amazing rooftop bar with fabulous views of the
city, but we just took pics and didn’t stay for drinks as it was £7 for just a small beer! Still half the price of most Ibiza clubs though. We walked on and ended up at Golden Pine, a ridiculous local club/bar with no dancefloor but a massive soundsystem pumping out cheesy rave music. Craig met a Singaporean girl named Irene there and she came with us to get some amazing burgers and beer at another bar nearby called Factory 47. We got chatting to the owner who was German and he gave us free shots and spoke to us a bit about Da Nang.
I needed to buy a motorbike so we could start the trip properly, so in the morning we went to find Craig who was at a hotel nearby. I rode Craig’s bike there which was good practice as I hadn’t really ridden much before except that once in Vang Vieng. Breakfast took a bit longer than expected and then I went with Craig to look for bikes while Dave dropped his bike off at a mechanic to get the gears fixed. Unfortunately our bike hunt was unsuccessful and it was looking like Da Nang might not be a good place to buy motorbikes, only scooters. We were hoping to get a bike and head off that afternoon, but when we got back Dave told us the mechanic wouldn’t have his bike ready until 2pm the next day so it looked like we were staying another night afterall.
While sitting around drinking at Barney’s and contemplating how we could get me a motorbike, I looked down a small side alley and saw what looked like two old bikes covered in sheets. Upon further inspection we found them to be some fairly decent looking Honda Win’s, albeit a bit rusty. We enquired at Barney’s and the receptionist said they had been abandoned there and her boss was trying to sell them. Score! Unfortunately the better looking of the two had been sold already, so we played around trying to get the second one started. Fortunately it kicked into life after a few tries, so after the receptionist arranged to get the lock cut off (is this stolen?) Dave tinkered with it a bit and got it nicely up and running. The tyres needed some air and the chain needed tightening, but otherwise good. The owner only wanted $100 which is already a great price, but I tried negotiationg anyway. Eventually he wouldn’t budge, but the nice receptionist gave us each a free beer as consolation.
So with my bike sorted we proceeded to celebrate with a few (a lot) more beers at Barney’s until about 7pm when I had to go meet my friend Danny who had been living and working in Da Nang for the past few months. The others all came along and we had dinner at some mexican place and then headed out to a nearby Rasta bar called Minsk. I chatted to Danny a lot about life and work in Da Nang and it sounded like he might be able to get me some work, and it seems like a great place to live. Most of the others all left early and after a few games of foosball I headed back with Craig.
In the morning Craig went to fetch Irene from Hoi An and I went with the others to get Craig’s bike and sort mine out. We all met back at Barney’s, where we left our luggage and gave them some of our washing to do. The plan was to just take day bags, drive over the beautiful Hai Van pass and then continued on to Hue, a few hours north, spend the night there and then come back the next day and get our stuff. It started raining just as we set off, so I had to stop along the way to buy a proper helmet with visor and a waterproof poncho. Despite the thick fog and rain the Hai Van pass was still really beautiful, and after a small complication with dirt in the fuel tank my bike was running fine.
Once we had made it over the pass it was beginning to get dark. My rear light worked, but my front headlight didn’t work and Enda had no lights on his bike at all. However, the road on to Hue was a main road and was somewhat well lit, so we decided to push on through. It was still raining heavily and loads of big trucks and buses were passing us on the road, so this was pretty scary to say the least. I made peace with myself that this is how I’m going to die, held the accelerator tight and never took my eyes off the bike in front. Eventually after about 3 gruelling hours avoiding trucks and enduring the cold and wet, we arrived in Hue!
We found a place called the ‘Google Hostel’ and the fun bouncy receptionist checked us into our rooms. I met a French girl and German guy in the dorm room who seemed nice and we chatted about our travels and then we all went for dinner at a nearby restaurant and then played pool and drank until about midnight.
The next day we went to check out some old Chinese temples from the Ming dynasty, but it
was still raining and pretty bleak. Still, it made for some good photos and was interesting and very moody in the strange weather. While heading back to Da Nang on the the bikes we lost Dave and Sammy because they took the beach road and Enda thought they had gone the other way. Then we lost Enda because he drove off faster than us so just me, Craig and Irene headed back together. Once we got back to Barney’s we waited there for the others and had some pizza, then we all went and checked into another hostel nearer to the beach in the area called The Village. We got quite a nice 4 bed apartment for me, Craig, Irene and Enda, and Dave and Sammy got a hotel. Our apartment had a free bbq on that night so we got a bunch of really nice free food and I chatted to an older South African couple who were travelling in Vietnam and seemed to really love it.
The next morning we met up with Enda and another Irish girl he had met on Tinder and we all drove the short half hour ride to Hoi An together. We stopped for lunch at a restaurant and the woman running the place said she had a house that could sleep 7 people. Three double rooms for the couples and me on the sofa… great. I went out on the bike to buy eggs for breakfast and also bought a bunch of beer and we got drunk and went to the beach to swim, although it was cold and rainy so I didn’t go in. We also arranged an English flag and a Scottish flag for me and Craig’s bikes and took some awesome photos with all of us on our bikes. Then we went for dinner and somehow on the walk home Dave and Sammy lost us and ended up wandering around for 3 hours looking for the house and eventually sneaking into a fancy hotel and sleeping for free in a room! Classic.
In the morning everyone woke up and spent a while trying to get hold of Dave and Sammy. Eventually they managed to find their way home and after some awesome full English breakfast courtesy of Craig, we all hopped on the bikes and drove off toward the mountains. We lost Enda at one point and waited a while for him to come back, but he never did so we carried on without him assuming he will meet us at the final destination – a tiny village in the hills.
The scenery in the countryside is crazy beautiful, with just rice paddies, banana trees and stunning mountains and valleys everywhere.
It started raining a bit heavily towards evening and then Craig’s back wheel broke because his bike was overloaded. Luckily we had just passed a bike shop so me and him turned around and tried to get his bike back there. Eventually it wouldn’t move anymore so I drove on to the bike shop to see if one of the mechanic’s can help. The language barrier made it difficult but eventually he understood what I was trying to convey, and hopped on a scooter off into the direction of Craig who was just stranded on the road side. A few minutes later he came back on the scooter with the back wheel and started pulling the spokes out to repair it.
After a short time Dave and Sammy showed up – they hadn’t seen that Craig broke down and had ridden on. They said they passed Craig on the way back and he was just chilling with his half bike outside some woman’s house, but luckily in shelter from the rain. Since the wheel was going to take an hour or so, we all had some dinner and beers at a tiny makeshift restaurant next door. Luckily I also got my light fixed at the same time because now it was pitch black and raining hard.
After about two hours they were still trying to fix the wheel, so I decided I better ride over to Craig and see if he’s okay. I found him chilling with some beers watching movies on his laptop! Soon after the mechanic showed back up with the wheel and we got moving. The
next hour was spent riding in pitch black pouring rain with the bare minimum light that motorbike headlamps give off, over crazy pot-holed roads with trucks and buses whizzing past. I guess it was character building at the least, but I could have done without it to be fair – it was really scary and difficult to navigate. I was never so happy to arrive at a destination finally, which was really just a very basic trucker motel for £3 a night, but warm water at least.
We grabbed some noodle soup for breakfast as that’s literally the only food available out in the mountains, and then got back on the road. Craig’s bike was giving trouble again and had no power going up hills, so I went back to help him but the others carried on.
We managed to slowly get it to a bike shop where they fiddled with his clutch and got it going again, but then immediately after his chain broke! So we spent about another hour at the bike shop getting that and the sprocket replaced, and then rushed off to catch the others and get to Pleiku, our next destination. Fortunately we had no more trouble on the road and after stopping to check out a weird wooden church we met the others in Pleiku just as the sun was setting. Enda found us a hotel with some cheap double and twin rooms so we checked in and then grabbed some fried chicken at Lotteria, which is like Vietnamese KFC. Pleiku is a really crazy town, in the middle of nowhere but huge and busy with lights everywhere like the Vegas strip.
In the morning Enda, Dave and Sammy had to get some stuff fixed on their bikes so me, Craig and Irene headed off ahead. Unfortunately Sammy wasn’t feeling well and they didn’t want to spend too long on the bikes so they decided to take another route to a different town. We had a really good day on the bikes though, with clear skies and sun and a nice lunch in a tiny village. As we got near to our destination, Tuy Hoa, we got on to this amazing road that snaked along a canal with beautiful little houses overlooking a stunning river and valley. It was by far the most visually stunning 20km stretch of road I’ve ever seen and I could easily imagine myself living out my life there in quiet, idillic peace. I’d probably get bored eventually though.
In Tuy Hoa we got a 3 sleeper room in a little hotel for £2 each, and then wandered off to find Bob’s, a little pizza place someone had told us about that was apparently popular with travellers. Tuy Hoa is not exactly a backpacker town so it’s not very busy and there was no nightlife or anything, but we had some pizza and beers and I chatted to a Vietnam veteran who had moved out here to live and had some pretty incredible stories about the war. I love talking to old people, they have some great life advice and they’re not full of shit like all the young drunk people (me included). They are straight up and get to the point 🙂
We had leftover pizza for breakfast and then hit the road again for the short drive to Nha Trang where we would reunite with the others. On the way we hit an AMAZING piece of coastal road that had no cars on it and just winded along the shore in huge S-bends that were so much fun to race the bikes along. I was weaving along across lanes and cutting corners like I was in Moto GP, even though the bikes only get to a top speed of about 80km.
We hadn’t booked accommodation in Nha Trang, which was a bit silly as almost everything was booked out but eventually we found a shithole called Son & Daughter that had cheap rooms but smelt like piss. We all checked in, showered and got some food at a Russian restaurant downstairs. Everything in Nha Trang is Russian for some reason… ? Then we went out to some place called Why Not bar to play pool and I ended up having a pointless drunken conversation with a lesbian Russian couple but otherwise it was a pretty tame night, I don’t think much was happening.
In the morning I moved hostels to a place called iHome which was WAY better than Son & Daughter, got my washing done, bought some more clothes and then stupidly decided to try get my phone screen fixed again. It cost me $50 dollars and I broke it again within 24 hours. What a waste… cheap Chinese parts. Craig and Irene had been in a hotel the night before but decided to move with me to a dorm in iHome and then we went to the beach together and just lay in the sun and got drunk on rum and fresh coconut milk, listening to music on our portable speakers. It was awesome, one of my favourite days of the trip so far. Every evening at iHome they have free beer from 6-7pm, so after the beach we made use of that and then went out to a cool rooftop bar called 55 and met some fun Canadians.
Dave, Sammy and Enda had to rush off the next morning to get to Ho Chi Min so they could have time to sell their bikes before their flight to Australia on the 8th, but we wanted to stay a few more days in Nha Trang because it’s awesome. Unfortunately we didn’t ask to extend our stay at iHome soon enough and they were fully booked, so we had to move to another place called Backpack Hostel (creative name, lol). It was okay but didn’t have the cool rooftop bar with free beer like iHome. Luckily we had made friends with the iHome bar man so he said we could still come back for the free beer in the evening. Then we got on the bikes and rode to a nearby waterfall with some rocks to jump off and nice pools to swim in. Once back in town we met an Australian girl at our hostel who came to the beach with us for one quick drink and then we all went to iHome for the free beer. Craig wasn’t feeling well
so he went back early to sleep at the hostel and me, Irene, the Australian girl and most of the hostel went to a beach party down by the sailing club. It was really awesome, we even managed to sneak in for free and not pay the £6 entrance fee. The music was a bit cheesy but I was drunk enough that I didn’t mind and just danced on the sand for hours.
The next day Craig was still feeling a bit rough so we decided to stay another day, which we just spent chilling on the beach mostly. It wasn’t as good weather though and the others weren’t drinking so it was a fairly tame day. After that I went back to iHome again for free beer with a cool German guy I met at the hostel, and we got involved in an insane drinking game with some British people. We were downing tequila and these huge buckets of vodka and fruit mix. We were all supposed to go out to this rooftop bar but I was too drunk so I just went and passed out in the movie room because my head was spinning. I woke up a few hours later at about 1am and wandered back to my hostel.
In the morning we got Craig’s bike fixed and then left for Da Lat, a small inland town we were going to stop in before Saigon. Irene had left the night before to go home, and the German guy, Ollie, was also going to Da Lat so he joined us. The first bit of the ride was through some beautiful mountain passes with huge waterfalls, but my bike was struggling a bit going up the hills so it was slow going. Once we got over the pass Ollie’s bike broke down so we spent about 2 hours at a bike shop drinking beer and getting a part of his engine replaced. We finally made it into Da Lat just as the sun was setting and checked into a hostel called Wolfpack that somebody in Nha Trang had recommended to Ollie.
That night we had a huge buffet dinner at the hostel with all the guests, and then the 30 strong crew of us headed out to find a famous bar that has a huge maze inside it that an American guy there had heard of. We eventually found it and it was well worth the walk! Definitely up there with the best bars I’ve ever seen – this cavernous maze set over about 5 stories with stairs and ladders and crazy decor all made with concrete and dimly lit with small areas to sit and have a drink while you try find your way out.
I got very absorbed with the whole maze experience and I even got a group together to play hide and seek. I’m pretty sure I’m still mentally a 12 year old. It closed at midnight so we followed a Canadian to another bar he had heard of that stays open late, but it was crap with just a pool table and no music. I was with this American guy who was awesome, and this German girl and another American who builds art cars for Burning Man. We got talking to a rich Chinese guy who I’m pretty sure was gay and hot for the American dude, but anyway he wanted us to come back to his apartment for an afterparty but it never happened for some reason and we ended up just heading back to the hostel.
In the morning me and Craig packed up, said cheers to our new friends and headed off towards Saigon, our final destination. The road out was crazy busy and we lost each within the first hour. I waited at this circle for Craig for about 30 minutes but he never showed up so I continued on. Eventually I stopped at a gas station and asked to use their wifi so I could message him. Turns out I had passed him and he didn’t know so he was waiting for me further back at some coffee shop, but by the time I had seen the message he had moved on. I messaged him a place to meet further down the road and drove on, but when I got there the place I had planned to meet him didn’t exist. By some stroke of luck I happened to see his bike parked outside a coffee shop nearby so I found him. After a quick coffee we headed on until about 2pm when we stopped for lunch at an awesome little truckstop with hammocks to chill in and Craig got his biked checked out next door as it was still giving trouble.
About 6pm we finally rolled into Saigon after 2 weeks on the road. Craig’s bike had almost completely died by then and he had to keep running down the road amongst the crazy Saigon traffic trying to push start it. We checked into a hostel that had been recommended to us called Vietnam Inn which looked pretty good and had free beers and stuff for a few hours every night. Saigon is pretty mental, I thought Bangkok was mad but this place is insane. We went down to meet the others and find a bar on this street called Bien Muy or something where all the travellers go, and there’s just lights and noise and “massage parlours” everywhere. We all reunited and had some food at a BBQ place before heading out to some or other bar called Donkey bar where we met a Swiss couple and chatted shit for hours.
After free breakfast in the morning we ended up back at Donkey bar playing pool and darts for hours with a funny Canadian guy called Jimmy who had been working in Saigon for 6 months. Then the others joined and we went to a nearby hostel where they were playing drinking games with jenga blocks. On each block was written a different challenge. A northern English girl chose one that said she must swap clothes with someone and she picked me, so we swapped all our clothes. That was quite interesting – I spent the rest of the night walking around in tight denim hotpants and a thin string top while she had my baggie pants and vest on. Fortunately neither of us were wearing underwear as it’s too hot in Saigon and nobody does, so I didn’t need to try squeeze into her panties. At some point she swapped my vest with Jimmy so at the end of the night when we swapped back I eneded up with his random dirty vest and then I couldn’t find him to get my vest back. Anyway the rest night was fairly boring, just pub crawling and then ending the night at a club dancing until 4am.
The next day Dave and Enda left for Australia, and I spent the morning printing signs to sell my bike. Then I met up with Dave and Sammy and we had some food and then went for free beer at the hostel. I didn’t plan on partying again that night but the alcohol gods had other plans for me and once again we were out until about 3am. I bumped into Jimmy and he still had my vest on as he had gone back to a hotel with some girl and not been home yet. Obviously he didnt want to give it back to me then and go home shirtless so I told him I’d get it the next day.
In the morning I showed somebody my bike but because I didn’t have a bluecard she didn’t want to buy it, and I figured nobody else would either so I just ended up selling it to a bike shop for $80. Only a $20 loss, not bad for almost 3 weeks of biking and some of the best times of my life! After that I decided I was done with Saigon and booked my ticket to Phnom Penh in Cambodia, packed my shit, got my vest back from Jimmy finally (he was still wearing it!!), had one last beer with Craig and got on the bus.
After a few short hours I arrived at the Cambodia border… and that’s the next adventure.